All images copyright 2010 Claire BainWednesday, April 28, 2010
Friday, April 23, 2010
A Case of Nerves
What if adults drew on their hands when nervous...
I went into a Kindergarten class to teach art, and there was a substitute teacher. It was first thing in the morning. Even though the kiddies are not new to school or art, and have been told that we don't draw on ourselves, the first thing one of them did was to draw on her hand with an oil pastel. I thought about it later, and remembered the look on her face and her body language. It seemed to me that she was nervous. I know that part of the reason she did it could have been purely about the sensory experience of seeing and feeling this brightly pigmented, soft crayon, and just wanting to experience it.
I got to thinking about what it'd be like if we maintained that child behavior of nervousnes. For example, while waiting for - or during - a job interview, we begin to draw on our hand with a nice felt-tip pen. Then, as one kid did at the beginning of that art class, we announce how we don't want to do this, that it's boring. Now if all adults remained like kids, the interviewer might punch us on the arm or snatch the pen out of our hand and say, "Shut Up! It's not boring! YOU'RE boring!" After a bit of pushing and shoving we might finally settle down into the job interview. It could go like this:
Interviewer: Why are you interested in working at Acme Marketing?
Applicant: I need a job and you have room for someone so just hire me.
I: Why should I?
A: You need me here--you're all dumb and I could make this company a lot better. Your marketing campaigns suck, and I can't even see why you have any clients at all.
I: Liar! We are the best marketing company! Who do you know that's better, anyway?
A: Only about the last five companies I was at. Greenbeam does way funner marketing stuff than you guys!
I: Oh yeah?! Well then if they're so great, why do you ask me for a job? You smell!
A: You smell more! Anyway, I want to work here because my cousin Bobbie works here, and we can ride to work together.
I: Well, Bobbie's ugly!
A: That's a lie! So?
I: So what do you want to do here anyway? We don't want anyone else. We don't need any more workers here. We changed our mind.
A: Nuh-uh! You can't change your mind! You advertised it! (Shoves interviewer)
I: We can so change it! (Pushes back)
A: Hey! Quit it!
I: (pushes Applicant again, and this time applicant drops portfolio). NO! YOU quit it! Hey... what's that? (bends down to pick up a document that has fallen out of portfolio)
A: Nothing! Just something I made that you're too dumb to understand but that earned five hundred thousand bucks for Greenbeam--give it here! (grabs at document)
I: (turns, holding document out of reach, reading it) Heyyy, not bad for such a dork like you.
A: You wouldn't know
I: Want to work here?
A: Yeah, but you have to pay me a lot!
I: I'm hungry.
A: Me too. Let's go.
I went into a Kindergarten class to teach art, and there was a substitute teacher. It was first thing in the morning. Even though the kiddies are not new to school or art, and have been told that we don't draw on ourselves, the first thing one of them did was to draw on her hand with an oil pastel. I thought about it later, and remembered the look on her face and her body language. It seemed to me that she was nervous. I know that part of the reason she did it could have been purely about the sensory experience of seeing and feeling this brightly pigmented, soft crayon, and just wanting to experience it.
I got to thinking about what it'd be like if we maintained that child behavior of nervousnes. For example, while waiting for - or during - a job interview, we begin to draw on our hand with a nice felt-tip pen. Then, as one kid did at the beginning of that art class, we announce how we don't want to do this, that it's boring. Now if all adults remained like kids, the interviewer might punch us on the arm or snatch the pen out of our hand and say, "Shut Up! It's not boring! YOU'RE boring!" After a bit of pushing and shoving we might finally settle down into the job interview. It could go like this:
Interviewer: Why are you interested in working at Acme Marketing?
Applicant: I need a job and you have room for someone so just hire me.
I: Why should I?
A: You need me here--you're all dumb and I could make this company a lot better. Your marketing campaigns suck, and I can't even see why you have any clients at all.
I: Liar! We are the best marketing company! Who do you know that's better, anyway?
A: Only about the last five companies I was at. Greenbeam does way funner marketing stuff than you guys!
I: Oh yeah?! Well then if they're so great, why do you ask me for a job? You smell!
A: You smell more! Anyway, I want to work here because my cousin Bobbie works here, and we can ride to work together.
I: Well, Bobbie's ugly!
A: That's a lie! So?
I: So what do you want to do here anyway? We don't want anyone else. We don't need any more workers here. We changed our mind.
A: Nuh-uh! You can't change your mind! You advertised it! (Shoves interviewer)
I: We can so change it! (Pushes back)
A: Hey! Quit it!
I: (pushes Applicant again, and this time applicant drops portfolio). NO! YOU quit it! Hey... what's that? (bends down to pick up a document that has fallen out of portfolio)
A: Nothing! Just something I made that you're too dumb to understand but that earned five hundred thousand bucks for Greenbeam--give it here! (grabs at document)
I: (turns, holding document out of reach, reading it) Heyyy, not bad for such a dork like you.
A: You wouldn't know
I: Want to work here?
A: Yeah, but you have to pay me a lot!
I: I'm hungry.
A: Me too. Let's go.
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